#13 From denying to accepting who you are to make the right career decisions
In this deep, open and rich conversation, Deri Hughes shares how he learnt to take conscious decisions instead of being led by unconscious drivers. He shares some practical tools and techniques. This has deep implications for our careers and our lives.
Deri Hughes has had a rich and diverse career with a focus on strategic consulting. He graduated from Oxford University with a first class degree in organic chemistry. He even went all the way to doing a PhD there. He then started his career at Bain, founded a short-lived company and continued with a few free-lance consulting roles. He then moved on to become the CFO and COO in a strategic consultancy. After this he founded his two companies HoneyComb PS and Explore Consulting where he helps leaders of consulting firms to recruit, train, and develop their teams.
A few months ago he wrote a post on LinkedIn where he very openly talked about his personal difficulties and how he has been working through them. This was a beautiful example of daring to be, daring to show up, with his strengths and vulnerabilities.
Listen to his story here or on your usual podcast player.
Show notes
Deri’s LinkedIn profile.
03’46 - Doing a PhD in organic chemistry at Oxford because his father also had a PhD… but actually not liking it.
05’01 - Had the option to stop his PhD despite, but he decides otherwise because of his self-judgement.
06’09 - Key learning: fear of judgement unconsciously driving decisions in himself and observing this pattern in many people.
07’30 - Key learning: Not just sticking with something because you've started it, but having that conscious decision that it's the thing you want to do to continue. Tool used by Bain Partner: every year goes to ⅔ interviews externally to always make a positive decision to stay at Bain.
08’35 - The signs that his PhD was not for him: difficulty focusing, booms and busts of energy, dragging himself to the lab. Not getting enjoyment or motivation from his tasks.
10’30 - At the time, he did not accept that he did not like his PhD. Probably had undiagnosed depression at that time in an unsupportive environment.
12’27 - Becoming the President of the university Sports Club, running it as a small business. Getting his energy from it.
13’33 - Joined Bain and did very well there thanks to a strong strengths and cultural fit.
14’37 - His technique to get into a mindset to be fully present and ready to perform at his best in critical situations - using visualisation to know what he needs to do and how he needs to feel to focus on the effort and avoid being distracted.
18’17 - Getting into the right emotional state to perform to his highest possible level in key moments by focusing on the importance of the event for him.
20’42 - His sense of mission, aligning his business activities with it enables him to stay focused and motivated and to do the things that are difficult.
21’51 - Focusing your personal mission on what is difficult, because it gives you a constant reminder to focus on what you want to grow into.
21’56 - Explains his personal mission statement: “I am here now creating a world of golden connections by shouting my joy and hearing its echo.”
26’29 - The Mankind Project has been hugely helpful to him - groups of men to help bring about positive masculinity and helping men understand themselves better.
27’00 - Developed his mission based on what he wanted and needed as a child and did not get. These are typically the things that you want to give out the most but are difficult to give.
28’23 - An example of the way he expresses his mission statement in business situations, as a trainer.
29’26 - The prospect of becoming a father as a consultant and an honest conversation with his wife made him leave his job at Bain.
31’19 - Being surprised by the number of people who were jealous of him leaving, but in the end all of them stayed.
33’20 - Differences in people's risk tolerance may make them more or less prone to change jobs, industry or careers.
35’07 - In SAAS, people say you need to see a 5-10 times difference in the value or ROI that you get to switch to a new solution. Maybe that also applies to how we make our career decisions. See this post on the change equation.
36’22 - He switched lifestyle before he got to the point of being trapped by high run rate costs commitments.
36’54 - “Naively” started his own business. Failed and stopped after 6 months.
38’34 - Solving the wrong problem (feeling the need to be in teams) by being employed again. Then realised and accepted that he did not need to be part of a team.
42’08 - How to know what you truly want fast? By building your self-awareness, particularly with someone holding up the mirror.
44’16 - Possible techniques to reduce or eliminate our addictive behaviours (don’t take this for mental health advice!). Give yourself compassion and sit with the discomfort of the emotional need.
50’17 - His perspectives on the world of work that is likely to emerge in the next few years that could give more freedom, opportunities and choices for people in their work.