#10 Overcoming. From drug-dealing to self-love and success in music and public speaking
Listen to the enthralling story of Curtis Blanc, or Tis or Tisrespect. From failed music beginnings, to drug-dealing, to nearing death several times, to prison, to award-winning radio-presenter, to sought-after public speaker, to 50£-a-day sound engineer, to successful music entrepreneur, to spoken-word artist, Tis has seen and learnt a lot. He is now on a mission to help youth and music artists to grow their self-awareness and self-love and succeed.
Tis comes from an under-privileged background in West London. School had no interest for him until he found music. With music he got distinctions for the first time in his life. He enjoyed creating electronic music and setting up sound systems. American and British rappers made him believe that success was within easy reach. He started his music business with passion… and some naivety about what it would take to “make it”.
Instead, he was focused on avoiding the lack of money he suffered from in his childhood by dealing drug. As he participated in gang life, consumed drugs and played video games, music took the back seat. Until he got caught by the police with high quantities of class-A drugs and cash. He pleaded guilty and got sentenced to 4 years in prison. Tis says his low point in life was dealing drugs, rather than prison where he was finally free from his gang and from drugs.
That’s when he started writing a very different story for his life. Listen to his incredible story here. or on your usual podcast player or read the key learnings below. Listen Tis’ beautiful poem at the very end of the episode.
You can find Tis on Twitter at @tisrespect.
Key Learnings
Being of service to others is the meaning of life
The more we give, the more we receive! We all need to feel valued for our contributions. When we stop delivering value to others, life loses its meaning. In fact, being of service is what makes you valuable. When you are not of service, you are only a consumer in life and you will not be able to sustain any relationship. Drugs make people consumers and make them lose their ability to be of service. That’s why drug addicts lose their relationships. And yes of course we need to take care of ourselves to be able to be of better service.
The power of volunteering
Towards the end of his sentence, Tis had the opportunity to work outside of prison during the day and sleep in prison during the night. Paid jobs were scarce. Instead he focused on meaningful jobs where he could volunteer. Volunteering put him in a position to demonstrate that he had something that people wanted. At the end of prison he got offered a fixed-term contract and a very strong reference.
Education is a choice
While in prison Tis decided that he would educate himself. He knew that people would always judge him for his past mistakes - so he wanted to focus on over-shadowing them.
He did not know what he wanted to do coming out of prison. He simply turned prison into an opportunity to better himself: education was free! In prison, he got better at identifying the things that were good for him. He started reading books for the first time.
Greg’s perspective: I love how Tis acknowledgement and accepted his reality. Acknowledging and accepting are crucial steps towards meaningful change. For many of us it is very difficult to even acknowledge that we’ve done wrong, let alone accept our faults.
Make choices instead of reacting to strong emotions like anger
One day, a riot broke up. Out of anger, Tis got into an argument with a guard. He got barred from the radio studio as a result for 3 months. From this moment onward he knew there would be plenty of opportunities for him to mess things up. So he decided he would always put himself into a position of choice instead of letting his anger dictate what would happen.
Greg’s perspective: this is much easier said than done. It all starts with awareness. You can use the RAIN model developed by Tara Brach. First, recognise that you are feeling an emotion. Allow the experience of anger to be there. This means allowing your anger to be. This part has been the most difficult for me because it requires accepting that we are experiencing this emotion. Third, investigate with interest and care, being curious in a non-judgemental way. I have also found this very difficult! Finally Nurture with self-compassion. Give yourself AND your emotion some love.
The power of reading or hearing others’ stories
One book changed Tis mindset while in prison: Redemption by Stanley Tookie Williams who was on death row in the USA. His story gave Tis a very different perspective on his life in prison. He had not done that much wrong and had “only” 4 years to serve! It helped him move from feeling like a powerless victim to being in charge of his destiny.
Tis also experienced the power of telling his own story to people. Most notably, in a one-hour speech given to police officers, he shifted the beliefs of a 60-year old police officer who had some racist biases against black people.
Speaking from the heart is what touches people
Tis became a sought-after public speaker. He would speak from the heart, challenge people, be authentic, transparent and vulnerable. He would tell things as they are, laying things bare. He was not trying to impress, and did not care about the expectations. He was just sharing his story. It resonated with people.
Greg’s perspective: It’s not easy to be vulnerable, acknowledge our weaknesses, failures or mistakes to others. I know a bit about it… this is my blog post, drawing two lessons from losing my job. Hitting “publish” on this post was difficult. But a lot of good (within and externally) came from it because it made me more real and human to others - and to myself!